After a sick, sleepless night I do want to propose new warning labels on bottles of hydrogen peroxide. Right now, this language is not included, so just consider yourself lucky and forewarned. It should read: IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL INGESTION, CALL POISON CONTROL CENTER IMMEDIATELY. OR IF A BEST-SELLING BOOK ENCOURAGES YOU TO DRINK IT ON PURPOSE, ALSO CALL POISON CONTROL BUT KNOW THAT THEY WILL GET MAD AND MAKE FUN OF YOU IN THAT CASE.

As long as we are on the subject, I should also warn you that no bottle of Tylenol cautions you against putting it in your bra while you run a half marathon with friends. Whereby, it will melt and cause a burning rash that will last for years. Would you ever have thought?!!! I know I didn’t. Once again, if you are contemplating storing medicine in your bra, especially while in engaging in strenuous activity whereby it could melt-I urge you-DON’T!!!! It may seem as if you are being resourceful but the consequences are disastrous. I have been to the doctor twice to try to get healed and he can do nothing. Amazingly, this was also his first case of Tylenol bra burning, having had no previous patients with that ailment. He seemed surprised and not as enraged as I felt when you will notice that the bottles do not even suggest there could be a problem. Once again I just want to share this information with you so you do not have to make the same mistake. By the way, I am not joking-all the above is true-so seriously be careful. I do not want millions of people making my same mistakes. At least you have info to help prevent the above real life tragedies.

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Well, the poison control center has just informed me that I am stupid, in case you were wondering. I have a hard time believing this hasn’t happened to many other people although my daughter doesn’t. Her last loving words to me tonight were ‘IT’S EMBARRASSING TO KNOW YOU”.

In order to be healthy, I decided to follow some of the pH balance book mom does and do the green drink. In the book, the author says USE pH DROPS OR HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. So I do. I got a little suspicious when I poured the peroxide into the small blue bottle and the cap started blowing up like a balloon and almost exploded. However, who am I to argue with the experts?

It tasted gross but many times healthy food (and the poisonous kind for that matter) do not always taste the best. Afterwards I felt some what ill, which was sad as I was after health. I called mom to ask about why I suddenly felt deathly ill. I told her about the peroxide drops which she said comfortingly that they probably should be food grade quality and she did not know what would happen to me.

Upon my return home I go to the evil book, where about 10 times it says such things as USE REGULAR HYDROGEN PEROXIDE-THAT YOU CAN FIND IN ANY HEALTH FOOD OR GROCERY STORE. I, unfortunately, took that to mean I should use regular hydrogen peroxide that I could find in a health food or grocery store. Somehow, I missed the suggestion that it should be food grade or that there even was such a thing. Go figure!

I go to the bottle of hydrogen peroxide to see more…

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